I’m at such a low point in my life right now when it comes to thinking about my future. Deep down I know I need to go to college and get my degree and do what I was born to do: teach. But this other part of me is so ready to get out of my fucking house and away from all these bad vibes and just start making a living for myself, which I know will be comfortable now, but shitty when it comes to providing for a family one day. But then you have to consider that tomorrow is never promised and I may never get that chance to grow old and raise a family, so school would just be a waste of time if I keel over at 26. That’s a whole different thing, though. Gahhh someone help me.
I find it repulsive and inexplicably unattractive how obsessed our generation has become with finding beauty in sadness, suffering, and loneliness. There is nothing appealing about someone whose idea of a fun Friday night is eating pizza and posting cliche lyrics from a well known pop punk band, then proceeding to document the event with overly edited pictures featuring their brewing mug of tea and long, lanky legs lost in a bubble bath with edges lined in dainty candles. Nobody wants to dispose of their precious time with a person enthralled by the idea of infinite sadness, and there is not a half educated person willing to waste their energy trying to mend a soul seemingly “broken” by today’s standards of society. How’s about instead of wallowing around in oversized sweaters and messy buns lost in your own self pity, you pick yourself up off the fucking ground and go read a novel, visit a museum, take a walk into your local greenway and appreciate nature and what’s been given to us without cost, acquire a small tent and go camping with close friends, listen to a band nobody has heard of from halfway around the globe, paint your bedroom walls, visit elderly people in a nursing home and listen to their stories of the past, learn a new language, become familiar with your town’s history, and only record these adventures through photographs for personal reference in years to come, not for the shallow and short lived popularity online. Expand your mind and allow yourself to test all it’s capable of. This generation needs to wake up and realize there’s an entire universe outside our windows that we’ve been too blinded by ourselves and our vanity to see and appreciate.