I find it repulsive and inexplicably unattractive how obsessed our generation has become with finding beauty in sadness, suffering, and loneliness. There is nothing appealing about someone whose idea of a fun Friday night is eating pizza and posting cliche lyrics from a well known pop punk band, then proceeding to document the event with overly edited pictures featuring their brewing mug of tea and long, lanky legs lost in a bubble bath with edges lined in dainty candles. Nobody wants to dispose of their precious time with a person enthralled by the idea of infinite sadness, and there is not a half educated person willing to waste their energy trying to mend a soul seemingly “broken” by today’s standards of society. How’s about instead of wallowing around in oversized sweaters and messy buns lost in your own self pity, you pick yourself up off the fucking ground and go read a novel, visit a museum, take a walk into your local greenway and appreciate nature and what’s been given to us without cost, acquire a small tent and go camping with close friends, listen to a band nobody has heard of from halfway around the globe, paint your bedroom walls, visit elderly people in a nursing home and listen to their stories of the past, learn a new language, become familiar with your town’s history, and only record these adventures through photographs for personal reference in years to come, not for the shallow and short lived popularity online. Expand your mind and allow yourself to test all it’s capable of. This generation needs to wake up and realize there’s an entire universe outside our windows that we’ve been too blinded by ourselves and our vanity to see and appreciate.
I want to make a vent post but as soon as I sit down to type one up, I can never think of what to say. Basically things have been shitty lately and I’m almost positive they’re going to remain this way for a long time. Melissa and my parents are the only people in my life who don’t want to tear me down lower than I already am, and for that I am grateful beyond words. After tonight I’m taking a break from social media and looking after myself, something I’ve slacked on doing for almost a year now. I’m done being this miserable person I’ve become, it’s time to make some serious changes in my life.